you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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