Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
