If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
