i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize