So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
