And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
