I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
