How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
