honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
