Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
