She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
