It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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