Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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