i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
