I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
