went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
