I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
