I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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