Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
