come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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