Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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