I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
