rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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