so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
