you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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