I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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