HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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