she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need water and some morals
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
