Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize