There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
