The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize