You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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