Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
