Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize