How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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