No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
