I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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