i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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