We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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