Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
