Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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