Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
