Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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