Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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