You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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