Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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