I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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