I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
