Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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