I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
3pm strippers are depressing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
