I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Less talking, more tequila
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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