she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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