there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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