I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
