you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
