Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
