at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
