Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize