im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
