I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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