1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
