I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
