i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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