I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
