...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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