The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
